author life,  NaNoWriMo2017

Day 3 – NaNoWriMo 2017

Required words: 1,666 / 3,333
Planned words: 3,333
Actual words: 0
Overall words: 3,897

Ohh, first zero day, the joy. It happens. Didn’t want to keep that joyous event from you!

Why it happened? Long story short: frustration. The day started well enough but then took a nosedive, and I ended up feeling so wound up and frustrated that at 6:30pm I dragged my coughing, snotty self to the gym for an hour of swimming it all away. Which didn’t work, but at least I got a workout in that now leaves me with slightly sore shoulders and a sore ass. Ladies, want to work those glutes? Swim. I feel the burn every single time I let up on my training, and then jump right in as if Michael Phelps was watching.

Why the frustration? Well, the underlying reason is because I’m bipolar type 2 and not quite out of my latest depressive phase. The concrete reason (or trigger, if you will) this time was facebook. Which I can’t really talk about because it would take all of 2 seconds for someone to swoop down and go all, “How can you talk like that about anyone, you’re a public figure, gasp!” or some other related shit. Because apparently, the second you dip your toe into any form of entertainment, your opinion matters, your feelings don’t, and people expect you to “behave” a certain way. Let’s just put it this way: I don’t play well with others (as recently seen in connection to something that still makes my gorge rise and me foam at the mouth and I can’t discuss it because, boohoo!) and I have a very keen sense of fairness, and so very often, people don’t give a shit about being fair. It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with my facebook group, which is awesome, and sitting at 299 members of awesomesauce right now, yay! You guys make up for a lot of shit out there. I should probably limit all my interactions to that–the people who actively want to have anything to do with me–and forget about the rest. Yes, I think I’ll do that for now.

So, want me to talk a bit about the b-bomb I dropped up there? Or woulds you prefer to ignore it because we writers are all book-producing machines and you don’t care about anything except when the next book’s out? Which is okay, to each their own. Live and let live, right? But since there’s a single day we all focus on mental health, versus a month of men wearing mustaches, and I missed that, gotta slide it in somewhere, real smooth.


  • Mick

    Morning, please don’t read too much into some people’s 1 star reviews.I downloaded the first book and enjoyed it so much I downloaded the others straight away. I am lucky I have kindle unlimited I just finished the last book and cannot wait fir the next. Love ❤️ the blogs .

    • Adrienne Lecter

      Oh, don’t worry. I generally don’t pay any attention to one star reviews, except that they annoy me. Overall, I think only a single over ever held any merit and said anything about me or my books rather than about the reviewer. It’s the 2 and 3 star ones that usually drive me insane, but then I hardly ever read them, and I take them not just with a grain of salt, but an entire salt mine! Glad you had such a great time with them all! By this point, simply getting a KU subscription if you read the series in under 3 months is worth it 🙂 Glad you love the blog posts as well, I figured they would get tedious and everyone would start ignoring them 2 days in, but it’s been fun and gotten some great feedback so I might even get them going after November.

  • April Batchelor

    If authors were machines then what would be the point? Your life, even the little or not so little everyday things influence what you write. Of course we care! Who is trying to break our favorite writing machine??? I want names . You are the first writer that I’ve seen really interact with your fans and that’s very refreshing. Please don’t let the actions of a few assholes out there take that away from you or us. As a person that suffers with depression and anxiety, I tend to take things more to heart on my bad days. On those days, Adrienne, try and remember what it feels like when you open a message and some says something that reminds you why you are pouring yourself into the pages you write. Maybe tomorrow someone will ask a question or post something that gives you a great idea. Absorb the good energy and fuck the rest. You got this girl! You are not a robot and YES I want to know what’s going on behind the scenes.

    • Adrienne Lecter

      I’m really surprised that this seems to be a thing people enjoy. Might just keep it going after November. We’ll see 🙂
      Ah, no names that I can name, except my own, because that’s what it boils down to. But what upset me was that I joined a group that should have been a good fit because several of my readers were part of it and it really kind of was very center of what I do. They had a group rules post that said you’d need permission by the admins to post promo links, so I followed the rules and messaged one of them, asking if I could do a quick intro post, and if it was okay to share the current free promo that was running, coincidentally, as I hadn’t even heard of the group the day before. The admin wasn’t rude but kind of condescending as she explained that yeah, they were about to change that to only THEM being allowed to post anything with amazon links, and that the monthly author features were of authors they personally knew and had invited (aka their friends) but she could put me on the waiting list. They’re booked over half a year in advance. I said thanks and good luck, and left the group again after joking around with one of the other admins (who was kind of the reason why I joined because she supposedly had read my books, or was at least liking posts of someone mentioning them) about how we write and edit. It left a very, very sore taste in my mouth, for so many reasons. First, I don’t think that other admin had any clue of who I am, or she would have reacted differently. I felt very talked down to, like, oh, you scrummy little author, take a seat at the back of the line and watch us grown girls play in the meantime. My social stats (facebook page likes and friends, even my group members, my newsletter subscribers) don’t reflect how many books I sell. My amazon review numbers do, but who ever checks those? But independent of that, even if she’d actually welcomed me (and at least allowed me to hope a link-less hello post) I would have left, because I don’t like that kind of “this is our playground” mentality in groups. But because I was feeling down by that time, it made me feel even worse (on good days I would have just shrugged it off and moved on) it kind of sent me into a tailspin, dragging up the grief of that other recent project I was involved in that ended with pretty much incompetent nobodies getting in my face and trying to negate all the work I’d done. I got a “oh, you can still drop out” after I put an extra 15 hours into a project, and was also asked to do shit I really, really hadn’t signed up for that nobody else, including the beyond incompetent organizers, didn’t do. At this point, I don’t think there’s anything they could do to make it up to me, but hey, they keep profiting from the work I put into it, and even more so from my very name. They do not deserve it. At all. And I have no way from moving on from that because I don’t want to drag it all in the open and eviscerate every little detail, so that’s that. To say it soured my interest in working with anyone ever again is an understatement.

      I do feel better today, and I felt better most mornings this week, so I think the worst of it is behind me (for now. I so LOVE that nice adage that you’ll never really get better if you’re bipolar because it’s a chronic illness and we can’t rewire the brain. There’s medication, but that’s not a solution for a cause, just a way to fight the symptoms). I’m blessed with a job that, often, I can still do when I’m not feeling great, and that is sustainable on my good days alone as long as I get the most of them. And it’s rewarding as hell, so that does more to overall makes me feel better than anything else, hands down. But I wish I could just think or eat or exercise it away so I could be a happy, productive person 365 days of the year. So many writers can do that. Why not me? Makes me feel like a failure through and through, while realistically, I’m killing it. Except that I’m a heinous bitch that can’t let go when she has been wronged, but hey, we all have our flaws, right? 😉

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